Correct Amount of Negative Emotion
It is generally agreed upon that good emotions are wanted and negative emotions should be reduced. However, this can be done to an extent that is unhealthy. Suppressing negative emotions to the point that it is destructive is a rarity, but damaging to the point that they could be pushed from the rest of society. The integration of the shadow is absolutely necessary to each person, otherwise they either stay in their “Peter Pan” stage or become bitter and resentful to the rest of the world. They can avoid this by coming to a realization or many realizations, those being that of their lack of time and lack of assertiveness in themselves. These traits lead to them being too agreeable and not taking initiative in their careers and relationships.
However, when people don’t ease into the shadow and become consumed by it, they become indistinguishable from the shadow. They attack others with viciousness, only looking for their own benefit. Most commonly, they push others down to make themselves seem higher in the given hierarchy. This causes resentment from those who are pushed and a false sense of accomplishment from those doing the pushing. When these two types collide is when everyone involved must be most careful.
This can be observed best in a romantic relationship where one person is high in agreeableness and the other is not. When a conflict arises, the less agreeable person will want to see some kind of passion or emphasis out of the other. And the more agreeable person will not want to show those emotions for fear of hurting or angering the assertive person. So the solution to this problem would be to find the middle of the spectrum and have a conversation there. The goal of the conversation should be to figure out what it is that each party wants and then compromise on the issue.
It is not that one wins and another loses like in most arguments but that both people have something to say and they listen and speak to each other truthfully until they are both satisfied with the outcome of the conversation. It is possible that a genuine disagreement may be present but the use of good faith is absolutely crucial to the progression of the relationship. So, from this, we can see that leaning one way or another completely would be incorrect but a combination of the two in some fashion is more healthy and therefore would be more correct.